No words, just pure bile and vomit

Okay, okay. Okay! Alright, wait a minute. Just let me figure out how to say this. I’ve been trying to introduce some professionalism into this blog lately and starting to moving away from the cynical, wtf? posts I usually leave here.

But really, I have no choice right now. I want to back up a minute before I really get into this. I have to use amibiguous pronouns because there are just no words. None. So I’m going to use quite a few.

I hate ex-journalist, female memoir/fiction writers that aren’t Laurie Notaro (though, I won’t get into her first novel). She’s the only funny one.

Jenniferweiner.com

And she’s funny because she hates everyone.  But mostly, I hate book covers of little models in weird clothing  or of twinkle toes at the end of a messy bed, leftover from a one night stand.

Listings in the Midst of V-day

R5 Productions:
TONIGHT, The Barbary: Millionaires  with Cash Cash, I Set My Friends On Fire and Watch Out! There’s Ghosts ($12, 5:30p.m.)
Feb.5, The Barbary: The Dillinger Escape Plan with Dub Trio (SOLD

Tapes N Tapes

OUT, 6:30p.m.)
Feb.23, Kungfu Necktie: Pomegrantes with Mecury Radio Theater and Western Dresses ($8, 8p.m. + 21 and up)
Feb.28, Johnny Brendas: Tapes N Tapes with Wilde Light ($13, 9p.m. + 21 and up)

Midwoch Briefing

Palin takes on Ashley Judd’s ‘extreme fringe group’
Posted: 12:57 PM ET
From CNN Political Producer Peter Hamby

Ashley Judd appears in an environmental ad campaign for the Defenders of Wildlife Action Fund.

(CNN) – Alaska governor Sarah Palin’s support for aerial wolf-hunting has sparked a heated cross-country war of words between the governor and an environmental ad campaign fronted by the actress Ashley Judd, with Palin calling the organization funding the ads an “extreme fringe group.”

We’re really STILL talking about this?

Warwick.ac.uk

Montgomery Co:

I live in a nice suburb. It’s nice. The people don’t really say hello when you walk by, or talk to you if you’re waiting at the same bus station, but they, for the most part, mind their own business.

I also live in a suburb that was lined with McCain-Palin lawn signs (and that’s really none of my business), save for a few houses. This suburb doesn’t pay particular mind to national politics on a regular basis, tending to focus on local committee members and officials.  It’s a pretty common suburb.

I recently started reading my local newspaper again, though I take much of what it says with a grain of salt; I started reading it because I was curious. Since I moved back from the city, I’ve been largely detached from the community I lived in, mostly because I largely resented it. But I don’t like feeling like I don’t understand anything that’s going on.

So I started reading.

A Guide to Christian Sex

Exoduspodcasts.com

I suppose religious zealots finally realized that sex sells… that or they were tired of their teenagers still getting pregnant and thereafter having to turn them into  some kind of social  neomartyrs. Sex in Christ, this precious gem I stumbled across, outlines, according to the authors, the stipulations of “Christian” sex.

The homepage explains the reasons for having anal sex before marriage, proclaiming that it preserves a woman’s “pure, unsullied maidenhead.”

It even makes a case for masterbation, fisting, and Christian pornography!

GOP Can’t Hang.

“If there’s someone out there who votes for the candidate who Twitters more, then we need to take away his voter-registration card,” says Michael Palmer, who headed the new media operations for the McCain-Palin campaign. – The Wall Street Journal

Racewire.org

Naturally, the Republican party is just about scrambling over what they’re doing wrong, especially since their number one scapegoat plan was already outed long before it came to be. And aside from the eight years of Dubb, they couldn’t really find much else except for technology.

Philadelphia’s New Year Top 5 Missed Connections Quotations

Philadelphia- Apparently, sadistic and angry this month.

Strudelwahoo.com

1. “Is the troll a person or a figurine?”
       I find that the answer to this is naturally more important than
       anything dealing with the actual encounter.

2. “Happy Holidays, and more importantly, blow me.”
        This is mostly funny and noteworthy because the author is a relative
        and the recipient is a homophobic H&M employee who, obviously,
        knows and cares so much about politics that they still work at H&M.

3. “I wanted to buy you a drink but you nursed your glass of wine all evening.”
     I don’t know if I can be attracted to people who are not up to my
    drinking ability.

Phonoharps: A Dj’s Harp

WALTER KITUNDU: A hip-hop DJ from Minneapolis spent a rough decade producing what he calls a phonoharp, finishing in 2001. This instrument is the child of traditional strings equipped with turntable technology. 

CreativeWorkFund.org

Underdog Relationships for $16.95

Google.com

Last year when I was standing in the Starlight Ballroom for a Ted Leo show, they announced an open invitation to an anarchist bookstore party. I shrugged off the idea, calling it off as ridiculous and  strangely pretentious. It stirs up the same kind of mixed antagonistic feelings that I hear when people talk about vintage clothing and indie vinyl stores. It makes me think of cut-off jeans and green militant cyclists. Something about the way that these things are said, implying some sort of special detachment from mainstream society really pisses me off–as if the action, even the thought, of going to non-corporate store made someone more of something (smarter, faster, better) than I was.